How one mom broke a generational cycle and put her kids on a path to a brighter future

In September of 2020, as the pandemic was raging, the El Paso County Department of Human Services (DHS) became involved in the lives of 4-year-old Nurideen and his 3-year-old twin brother and sister, Assad and Yara.

It was a drive-by shooting targeting their mom, Amanda, which prompted DHS to open a dependency & neglect case for the kids.

These three precious children had been raised in an environment full of alcohol, drugs, and physical abuse, The children were placed in foster care and CASA was assigned to the case to ensure Nurideen, Assad, and Yara’s best interest remained front and center.

Enter Patty Howley, a retired special ed teacher who was sworn in as a CASA volunteer that very same month.

“What stuck out to me the most about that first visit with the kids were the words from Nurideen,” recalls Patty. “He asked me if I liked his new home and when I told him yes, he said ‘There are no bullets in this house’.”

Over the next couple of years, the twins lived in a foster home together and Nurideen lived with his biological father. Amanda did not believe Nurideen’s father was a suitable parent, but she also knew it was her responsibility to create a suitable environment for her children.

Amanda’s Road to Recovery 

“The first time I met Amanda, I noticed two things right off the bat,” said Patty. “First, she loved her children very much and wanted so desperately to be the mother they deserved. Second, she felt defeated. She was stuck in a cycle that started before she was born.”

Amanda’s adult decisions had followed what was modeled for her as a child. To break free of this cycle, she would have to work very, very hard.

She had to recover from meth and alcohol addiction, break contact with her ex boyfriend, complete domestic violence therapy and life skills coaching. She had to find a job and housing. And she had to do all these things while finding a sober living home, taking random drug tests, and attending supervised visits with her children.

“I felt lost without my kids and while I knew I had to focus on myself, it was very hard. I didn’t have a job, a car, or a phone and I was not taking full advantage of the resources and tools designed to help me,” Amanda said later. “Completing the requirements seemed impossible. The sense of hollowness I felt was a bottomless pit.”

But Patty was Amanda’s biggest cheerleader. She saw how Amanda interacted with her children during supervised visits, and she believed in her.

“I remember when I met Patty. She didn’t judge me,” said Amanda. “I didn’t trust a lot of people but over time I learned to trust Patty immensely.”

How Patty advocated for the kids

While Amanda was busy turning her life around, Patty would pick the kids up from their placements and take them bowling, to the park, or out for ice cream. She arranged play therapy to help them process their trauma.

She ensured they were properly celebrated on their birthdays, and acquired plenty of donated clothing, school supplies, backpacks and more to ensure they never went without.

It was Patty who located immunization records and enrolled Nurideen in kindergarten.

And it was Patty who advocated within the court system to give Amanda more tools and resources, and more time to get her life in order because she knew this mother had the strength to fight the odds stacked against her.

A reunified family emerged stronger than before

Amanda endured multiple setbacks during her time in recovery including evictions, homelessness, continuing threats of violence, relapse, failed drug tests, and PTSD.

Climbing out of rock bottom is not easy. Patty was straightforward with Amanda though.

Patty helped Amanda understand she was running out of time and that Nurideen’s father would receive full custody and the twins would go up for adoption.

A fire was lit inside this mother. She got a stable job. She entered the recovery program that ended up being the perfect fit for her. She started making better use of the resources offered to her. She got a phone, a bus pass, housing assistance, and eventually a fully furnished apartment.

“Sometimes I wonder how things would have been different if CASA had intervened in my life when I was a child, the way they intervened for my own children,” she says.

In 2023, all three kids were placed in her safe and loving home. In February of 2025, Amanda and her children broke ground on a Habitat for Humanity House. For Amanda’s family, a cycle has been broken and the future is bright.